


My Life with Criminal Minds

by StephanieDerekCallen



Category: Criminal Minds
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-07
Updated: 2015-01-03
Packaged: 2018-03-05 02:01:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3100946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StephanieDerekCallen/pseuds/StephanieDerekCallen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I do not own anything.</p>
    </blockquote>





	My Life with Criminal Minds

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own anything.

I am Taylor Bishop. I am 16. I live in Denver. My, brother, PJ and I and tween brother Greg are typical kids -- that is, until our mom had another baby. The arrival of our new sister completely upends the entire household. I make a personalized video diary for Adrian, adding a nugget of wisdom for my baby sibling. I am in the kitchen with mom and recording with my video camera.

 

"Hi, Adrian, here you are. Nine months old and look how cute you are," I say. 

 

She starts clapping. 

 

"Yeah," I say. 

 

I turn the camera to me. 

 

"And look how cute I am. It's your big sister Taylor here, and I'm making this video diary to help you survive ...special family," I say. 

 

I turn it back to her. 

 

"Oh, hey. Looks like Dad taught you how to eat bananas," I say. 

 

She tilts the plate up and they slide off onto her. 

 

"Oh-ho!" I say. 

 

Mom comes over her hair a mess and she has stains all over her shirt. 

 

"Oh, and there's mom, looking lovelier than ever this morning," I say. 

 

"Not in the mood. Okay. I think you've had enough bananas. So we're switching to sweet peas! You're gonna love 'em. Look, Mommy thinks there so yummy," she says. 

 

She takes a bite and spits it back into the bowl. I move off and turn the camera back to me. PJ is in the background on his computer. 

 

"Very smart. Always make Mommy try it first, okay? Oh, and there's your older brother PJ doing today's homework at the last minute as usual," I say. 

 

"It's not today's homework. This is yesterday's homework," he says.

 

"There's a chance you two will be in high school together," I say.

 

I walk over to the couch where dad is.

 

"Oh, and there's dad preparing for another day's work. He kills bugs for a living," I say.

 

"Honey, come on. We've been through this. I don't kill bugs. I'm a pest control specialist," he says.

 

"Either way," I say.

 

I hack and bring my finger across my throat like I am cutting it.

 

"So now you've met the whole family," I say.

 

"Forgetting somebody?" I hear from behind me.

 

I spin around. Greg is on the stairs.

 

"Greg! No, no, no. I didn't forget about you. I was just saving the best for last," I say.

 

I turn the camera back to me.

 

"Adrian, that was your younger older brother Greg," I say.

 

I turn it back to Greg.

 

"You want to say something to Adrian?" I ask.

 

"You ruined my life," he says.

 

I turn it back to me.

 

"Okay, so it's taking Greg a little bit longer to get used to you. You were kind of surprised," I say.

 

Greg pulls the camera back to him.

 

"I thought surprises were supposed to be good," he says.

 

I turn it back to me.

 

"And...cut," I say.

 

I turn it off as mom comes in.

 

"Okay, gang, listen up. I'm going back to work tonight at the hospital for the first time since Adrian was born, so I want everyone to stay at home and help your Dad with the baby," she says.

 

Wait--No, mom. I'm not gonna be here tonight. I have a study date at the library," I say.

 

She groans.

 

"Don't you mean "studly" date...with Derek?" PJ asks making kissy noises.

 

"Oh, save it for your pillow," I say.

 

"I'm sorry, Taylor, but you're just gonna have to reschedule," mom says.

 

"But, dad--" I say.

 

"Brandon!" she says.

 

"Uh, dad's not available right now," he says.

 

"Mom, don't take this the wrong way, but why did you guys have to have another baby?" I say/ask.

 

"Well, because three kids was just too easy. Three's for quitters," she says.

 

She chuckles.

 

"And, Taylor, you know better than to schedule a study date with a boy I have never met. Come on. As a dad, It's my responsibility to know every detail of my kids' lives," dad says.

 

"Oh, yeah? What school do I go to?" Greg asks.

 

"Um--the one named after that president. Hey, you know what? I've got to drive you kids to school," dad says getting up.

 

"Let's go," I say grabbing my bag.

 

"Wait, I haven't had breakfast yet," Greg says.

 

I go open the door.

 

"Come on, let's go," dad says.

 

I walk out.

 

~Later~

 

It is night. The doorbell rings. I run towards the door.

 

"I'll get it. I'll get it. I'll get it. Nobody else get it," I say as my dad heads to the door.

 

I open the door smiling. It is Derek.

 

"Hi," I say.

 

"Hi," he says.

 

"Hi! I'm Taylor's dad," dad says shaking Derek's hand.

 

"Nice to meet you, sir," Derek says.

 

"Uh, Derek and I are studying for our Biology test tomorrow," I say.

 

"Are you, now?" dad asks.

 

"Yes. Yes, we are, so can everyone please leave?" I say/ask.

 

Derek turns to leave. I grab his backpack.

 

"Not you," I say.

 

He turns back smiling. He walks farther into the living room.

 

"Taylor," my dad says.

 

"Yeah?" I ask.

 

"I thought your mom said no study date," he says.

 

"Yeah, at the library," I say.

 

"Oh, right. Okay, so then you've talked to her about this?" he asks.

 

"Of course I did. I mean, I'm pretty sure I did. It's just I talk to so many different people about so many different things," I say.

 

"Why is there a giant bug in your house?" Derek asks.

 

I turn and see him staring at a giant plastic bug. Dad and I walk over to him.

 

"That, my friend, is the Jerusalem cricket, better known to the layman as the potato bug. I'm an exterminator," dad says.

 

"Here we go," I say.

 

"Hey, have you seen my ad on local cable--"Brandon's Bugs Be Gone"?" dad asks.

 

"Yeah, how do we make Brandon be gone?" I ask.

 

"Okay. You've got homework to do. I've got a diaper to change. Hers--not mine. I ain't that old," dad says laughing.

 

He leaves. 

 

"Greg, out," I say.

 

"Okay, fine. But when's that hot guy getting here?" he asks.

 

I lunge at him.

 

"Out!" I say.

 

He jumps over the couch and runs. I blush really hard. 

 

"Kids," I say.

 

"Yeah," he says.

 

I pick up my book and open it. He un zips his backpack.

 

"Oh man, I left my book at school," he says.

 

"Oh, that's okay, we can just share mine," I say.

 

I scoot over pretty close to him.

 

"Is that okay?" I ask.

 

"Perfect," he says.

 

"Good, 'cause I'm all about the learnin'," I say.

 

"Let me just grab a pencil," he says.

 

"Oh yeah, I might have one," I say.

 

We both lean down to our bags. I put on chap stick. We sit back up. I sigh.

 

"I think I left my pencils at school," I say.

 

"Me too," he says.

 

He blows. I smell his minty fresh breath. I giggle smiling. 

 

"Ladies and gentlemen! PJ and the Vibe!" we hear P.J. over his amplifier. 

 

They start playing really loud and bad.

 

"Wow, sounds like you live right next door to that weird P.J. kid," he says.

 

"Yeah, he's not next door. He's downstairs...and he's my brother," I say.

 

I stand up.

 

"Oh! Oh, I'm--I'm sorry," he says.

 

"Me too," I say and go downstairs.

 

The music stops. P.J.'s best friend Emmet is here.

 

"For crying out loud, guys!" I say.

 

Emmet knocks over a symbol.

 

"What's up?" he asks trying to act cool.

 

"Can you please turn I down? We're trying to study," I say.

 

"No can do, sis. There's only one level in rock 'n' roll. And that is loud!" he says and plays he guitar loud.

 

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I think we can accommodate your little sister," Emmet says.

 

"Excuse me, but the band is called P.J. and the Vibe," P.J. says.

 

"So what, the Vibe doesn't get a say? I-I'm the Vibe," Emmet asks/says.

 

He chuckles.

 

"Yeah, I got that," I say.

 

"Oh, so you, got my vibe, huh?" he asks.

 

I give him a disgusted look.

 

"I'm gonna be over here," he says walking away.

 

"Turn it down now," I say.

 

"You will not sensor my art. I will not be silenced!" he says playing again.

 

I unplug the guitar from the amp.

 

"Hey!" he says.

 

"If I have to come down here again, this gets plugged in somewhere else," I say.

 

I go back upstairs. 

 

"Now then, where were we?" I ask sitting back down.

 

We are far apart.

 

"You know, actually, I think you were a little bit closer," I say.

 

He smiles and scoots over.

 

"All right--cellular respirations," I say.

 

He yawns putting his arm around me. He turns off the lamp.

 

"Do you mind?" he asks leaving his arm around me.

 

"Not at all. While we're at it," I say.

 

I throw a rubber duck hitting the radio. R&B starts playing. We smile. I twirl my hair around my finger. We lean in.

 

"What are you doing?" Greg asks from behind us.

 

Derek and I jump away from each other.

 

"Oh! Greg! What do you want?" I say/ask.

 

"Dinner! Nobody's fed me all day! And I am still part of this family, right?" he says.

 

"There's a half eaten sandwich in the fridge knock yourself out," I say.

 

He glares and goes back to the kitchen.

 

"All right. Now my brothers are all taken care of," I say.

 

"Good," he says.

 

"And there will be no more interruptions," I say.

 

"Taylor!" my dad yells.

 

"Oh, god!" I say.

 

We get up. I go over to the stairs.

 

"What do you want?" I ask.

 

"I need you to watch the baby for a sec!" he says.

 

He slips on the rubber duck at the top of the stairs. Adrian goes flying and he slides down the stairs.

 

"No!" I scream.

 

"No!" Derek yells.

 

Dad catches her.

 

"Nobody tells mom!" dad yells.

 

"Come here, Adrian. Oh yes! Adrian's fine," I say taking her from dad.

 

"Ooh! But I'm not! Uh, Taylor, tell P.J. to fire up the bug truck, I think I gotta go to the hospital. Oh, and Taylor, you're gonna have to watch the baby," he says.

 

"No! Okay," I say and go downstairs.

 

~Later~

 

I am holding Adrian feeding her. Derek is sitting on the couch.

 

"Maybe I should go," he says.

 

"No! Um, she's almost done with her bottle and then she'll go right to sleep. Then we can studly--I mean study. Now, where were we?" I say/ask.

 

I say sitting beside him. He opens my book.

 

"Okay," he says.

 

Adrian chatters, but we can't understand her because she can't talk.

 

"Yeah," I say to her.

 

"What is cellular respiration?" he asks.

 

"That is when glucose and other compounds oxidize to produce chemical energy, water and carbon dioxide," I say.

 

"Mm-hmm," he says.

 

Adrian passes gas. She chatters.

 

"Also known as poop," I say.

 

I sigh and stand up.

 

~Later~

 

I am in the kitchen pacing and singing to Adrian.

 

"How's it going?" Derek asks coming in.

 

"Well, we're getting there," I say chuckling.

 

I hum and sway side to side. Derek puts his arms around me and sways with me. I look up at him and smile.

 

"Well, well, well. What do we have here?" I hear Emmett as from behind us.

 

Derek let's me go.

 

"Emmett, why are you still here?" I ask.

 

"Well, I was looking for the kitchen, but I seem to have stumbled upon the ballroom," he says.

 

The phone rings. Derek sits on a stool

 

"Hello?" I answer.

 

"Taylor, it's Mrs. Dabney, from next door," she says.

 

"No, I have not seen your cat," I say.

 

"I'm calling about your brother; he's eating me out of house and home. Greg! Step away from the pie!" she says.

 

"Okay, I'll be right over," I say.

 

"All right. Derek, I'll be back in like two minutes. Don't go anywhere. Emmett, go somewhere," I say walking out.

 

I go over. The door opens and Greg comes out Mrs. Dabney behind him.

 

"Greg!" she says and snaps.

 

He hands her a banana. 

 

"Sorry about that, Mrs. Dabney, but you probably shouldn't have let him in," I say.

 

"I didn't let him in. He crawled through the cat door," she says.

 

"Greg, is there something you want to say to Mrs. Dabney?" I ask.

 

"Yeah. What are you fixing tomorrow night?" he asks.

 

"The cat door. Gonna make sure it's locked," I say.

 

"Okay. I think we're done here," I say.

 

She goes back in. I start down the steps. Greg sits on the couch on the porch.

 

"What are you doing?" I ask.

 

"Oh, so now you're suddenly interested in me?" he asks.

 

"Greg, you're my little brother. I've never been interested in you. I'm kidding," I say.

 

I go back and sit beside him.

 

"What's going on?" I ask.

 

"Ever since the baby arrived, everyone's been ignoring me. I feel like I'm invisible. I'm just the loser middle kid...like you," he says quietly.

 

"Just because I'm a middle kid doesn't make me a loser," I say.

 

"Then what does make you a loser?" he asks.

 

Adrian giggles.

 

"I'm not a loser, okay? And I was a baby once. And then you came along. And I was not happy about it. But then you peed on P.J. and I thought, "Hey, give the kid a shot." Look, someday you're gonna feel the same way about Adrian that I feel about you," I say.

 

"Well, how do you feel about me?" he asks.

 

"Let's put it this way--the hottest guy in school is at our house right now, and I'm here with you. Look how cute she is," I say.

 

She pukes on me. Greg laughs.

 

"I am warming up to her already," he says.

 

He lays his head on my shoulder laughing.

 

~Later~

 

"Okay, Adrian's asleep, Greg's playing a video game and we're finally alone," I say sitting beside Derek.

 

We lean in. The door opens and we jump apart.

 

"Hey, everybody! I have a bruised coccyx. Oh, come on. That's a funny word. Coccyx," he says laughing.

 

"The doctor gave him pain medicine," I say.

 

A car horn beeps.

 

"Whoa! Was that me? Sorry! I'm a little numb down there," he says.

 

"Actually, that's my ride," Derek says.

 

"Of course it is," I say.

 

We walk to the door.

 

"It's good to meet you, son," dad says shaking my hand.

 

"Oh, good night, sweetheart," he says kissing Derek on the cheek.

 

"Good night, sir," he says.

 

He comes over to the door. We start to kiss and the car horn blares.

 

"Good night," he says.

 

"Good night," I say.

 

I shut the door and lean against it.

 

"Coccyx!" dad yells.

 

~Later~

I am in my room doing a video diary.

 

"So that's how dad got my first kiss and how you flew for the first time. But the good news is-- nah, there is no good news," I say.

 

My phone chimes. I look at it.

 

"I take that back! It's a text from Derek. He wants to hang out tomorrow night--at his house! Oh! I've gotta go wash your puke out of my jacket! Oh, and, uh, one more thing--when you're my age and you meet a cute boy, do not, under any circumstances, ever ever bring him home. 'Cause if you do, well--good luck, Adrian," I say and turn off the camera.

 

~A few weeks later~

 

I am filming.

 

"Hey, Adrian. Taylor here on the couch where I almost got my first kiss with Derek," I say.

 

"But she didn't," Greg says from behind me.

 

"No, no, because I made the mistake of bringing the cute boy home where my dear family lives," I say patting Greg on the cheek.

 

"He wasn't that cute," Greg says.

 

"Get out," I say.

 

Greg leaves.

 

"Anyway, still waiting on that first kiss. But there's a dance this Friday where the girls ask the guys, and this time I'm going to make sure I get it," I say smiling.

 

"Get what, honey?" dad asks coming in.

 

"Oh, my first A+ in science, daddy," I say.

 

"That's my girl," he says.

 

I turn off my camera and go into the kitchen. I am pouring orange juice when the door opens. Emmett comes in.

 

"Hey, Taylor," he says.

 

"Hey, Emmett," I say.

 

"You know this dance this Friday is "Girls ask Guys," right?" he asks.

 

"Uh-huh," I say.

 

"You're a girl. I'm a guy. Something you want to ask me?" he says/asks.

 

"Okay, Emmett, listen, P.J. is my brother and you're his best friend. So in a way you're kind of like my brother too. And I can't go to the dance with my brother. You can see why that would be wrong, right?" I say/ask.

 

"This is the longest conversation we've ever had," he says.

 

"Did you hear anything I just said?" I ask.

 

"Something about wanting to go to the dance with a brother," he says.

 

I put a hand on each of his arms.

 

"Emmett, I want you to listen to me very carefully. I'm no going to ask you to the dance," I say.

 

"When you touch me I feels like electricity," he says.

 

I get my orange juice and leave the room.

  
~A few years later~

 

Derek and I dated and then he cheated on me. We are back together now. Mom is pregnant with another baby. It is Halloween. I am in my room getting dressed in my costume for the costume party. I get dressed in a sexy red riding hood costume. I drive to the costume party. I go in. Derek and I are singing together. We go up on stage the song starts.

 

 _[Derek:]  
_ Yeah, whoa  
  
I’m walking on a thin line  
And my hands are tied  
Got nowhere to hide  
I’m standing at a crossroads  
Don’t know where to go  
Feeling so exposed  
  
 _[Me:]_  
Yeah I'm caught  
In between  
Where I'm going and where I've been  
But no,  
There's no turning back  
  
Yeah!  
  
 _[Both:]_  
It’s like I’m balanced on the edge,  
It’s like I’m hanging by a thread,  
But I’m still gonna push ahead  
So I tell myself  
Yeah, I tell myself  
  
Don’t look down, down, down, down  
Don’t look down, down, down, down  
Don’t look down, down, down, down  
Don’t look down, down, down, down  
  
 _[Derek:]_  
It’d be so easy  
Just to run  
It’d be so easy  
To just give up  
  
 _[Me:]_  
But I'm not that girl who gonna turn my back  
There’s no turning back  
  
 _[Both:]_  
No turning back  
  
 _[Me:]_  
It’s like I’m balanced on the edge  
  
 _[Derek:]_  
It’s like I’m hanging by a thread  
  
 _[Me:]_  
But I’m still gonna push ahead  
So I tell myself  
Yeah I tell myself  
  
 _[Both:]_  
Don’t look down, down, down, down  
( _[Me:]_ Doooowwwn!)  
Don’t look down, down, down, down  
  
Don’t look down, down, down, down  
( _[Derek:]_ Don't look down! Don't look down!)  
Don’t look down, down, down, down!  

 

The next song starts. Derek and I stare into each others eyes the whole time.

 

 _[Me:]  
_ When you're on your own  
Drowning alone  
And you need a rope that can pull you in  
Someone will throw it  
  
 _[Derek:]_  
And when you're afraid  
That you're gonna break  
And you need a way to feel strong again  
Someone will know it  
  
 _[Both:]_  
And even when it hurts the most  
Try to have a little hope  
That someone's gonna be there when you don't  
When you don't  
  
If you wanna cry, I'll be your shoulder  
If you wanna laugh, I'll be your smile  
If you wanna fly, I will be your sky  
Anything you need that's what I'll be  
You can come to me  
  
 _[Me:]_  
You struggle inside  
Losing your mind  
Fighting and trying to be yourself  
When somebody lets you  
  
 _[Derek:]_  
Out in the cold  
But no where to go  
Feeling like no one could understand  
Then somebody gets you  
  
 _[Both:]_  
So take a breath and let it go  
And try to have a little hope  
'Cause someone's gonna be there when you don't  
When you don't  
  
If you wanna cry, I'll be your shoulder  
If you wanna laugh, I'll be your smile  
If you wanna fly, I will be your sky  
Anything you need, that's what I'll be  
You can come to me  
  
 _[Me:]_  
Like a chain that never breaks  
Like a truth that never bends  
Like a glue that takes a broken heart and puts it back again  
It's the feeling that you get  
It's the moment that you know  
That no matter what the future holds  
You'll never be alone  
  
 _[Both:]_  
If you wanna cry, I'll be your shoulder  
If you wanna laugh, I'll be your smile  
If you wanna fly, I will be your sky  
Anything you need, that's what I'll be  
If you wanna climb, I'll be your ladder  
If you wanna run, I'll be your road  
If you want a friend, doesn't matter when  
Anything you need, that's what I'll be  
You can come to me  
  
 _[Me:]_  
You can come to me,  
Yeah

~A month later~

 

Derek moved away for college. He got in the early acceptance program. I hear a crash upstairs. I run up and see a man with a gun. He has my family tied up. Mom already had the baby. He shoots them all in the head and runs out. I call 911. I keep my face neutral.

 

 


End file.
